My daddio had an absolute fantasy father's day - spent playing golf on the St. Andrews course in Scotland. For realsies. And he shot the best game of his life. God was apparently rewarding a very deserving father.
Photo credit: thegospelcoalition.org
Let it be first noted: I am my dad's first born and his first daughter. So it comes as no big surprise that we've always been close. He's been my Yoda. From start to finish. He's absolutely always showed up when I needed him, cheered me on through everything, and gone to bat for me in the moments where I need back up. He's had unwavering faith in me and I credit much of my ambition with a desire to live up to that faith. Daddy came from a small community in the deep south, got himself into an Ivy League college when he'd never even visited, then went to law school, passed multiple bars, and decided to go into business. He still runs that business today, as well as a number of others. He. is. super. impressive. And we all know that old rule that every generation should strive to do better than the last. I better go to the freaking moon.
But that's sort of a resume. The marrow that makes him so great is of course the intangibles and the moments. For example, when we were growing up, my dad called my siblings and me "nerdlers." As in: "What are you nerdlers doing? Why are you burning play-doh, nerdlers? Why is there shaving cream on the ceiling fan, nerdlers??" Only recently did I learn that he came up with this "nerdlers" business because he wanted to desensitize us to the term "nerd" if we were ever called that by other kids. He wanted us to be proud of being smart in school, and not ashamed. That tricky wizard.
Once, when I was in high school, my dad busted out with one of the top ten things I've ever heard him say. As background: my dad is an active Republican and very conservative (deep south, remember?) and I went to a woman-hear-me-roar all-girls' high school. While I was there he said to me, in a conversation that I otherwise can't remember: "You know, I became a feminist the day you were born." Did you just start crying? Because I did. Get this man a medal.
Now, as an adult, I've discovered the true secret of his genius. He empowered his kids. (And Mommy co-parented this way as well - she's owed the same props!) We grew up believing that we were capable of anything but inherently deserving of nothing. The rules applied to everyone and compassion should temper every interaction and decision. Work should be rewarded, not ability alone. I believe this mantra helped my brother, sister, and I avoid much of the curse of entitlement that so many of our peers have. In sum, I got really lucky with my parents and I hope my kids will think the same of me one day. Oh yeah, and Daddy is the best fudge chef in the world - when you can convince him to make it.
Nerdlers unite!
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